Are you fucking kidding me?

Here are several items that have caused me great stress this morning:

Dear Mr. Middle Eastern Gas Station Owner, when I just spent $25.00 gassing up my car and paying at the pump as you hand written sign requested, how dare you have the nerve to tell me that you wouldn’t accept my debit card when I actually come into the store to buy my morning snack and giant Diet Coke….your $10.00 minimum purchase rule SUCKS especially when I just filled up my gas tank at your stupid pump, Asshole!

Newsflash Jacksonville Drivers – learn how to FUCKING DRIVE! Are you so completely oblivious that you don’t notice me driving up your ass because you are going below the speed limit in the passing/fast lane? Move the fuck over you pathetic idiots, I know we are in the South and things are more laid back and relaxed down here but I still have to get to work and since you already have made me sit in traffic for an hour and a half due to your inability to merge onto a highway, yes, I happen to be in a hurry.

When 13 cars are passing you and then moving back over in front of you - THAT MEANS YOU ARE DRIVING TOO SLOW - MOVE!

This leads me to you Mr. Pimped Out Rice Burner Driver – If it is so necessary to trick out your Honda Civic so that it looks like it belongs in The Fast and the Furious – drive it like it or move that piece of shit out of the way!

Then we get to the one that tops off the morning! Dear Mr. F350 Driver, I don’t think your truck is big enough maybe you should put a lift kit on it and add tires that are bigger than my entire car, oh good, you already did! You are the most fucking ridiculous person in the world, why the hell do you need that vehicle? Oh you don’t need it but think it looks “sweet,” guess what it doesn’t and you know what – your penis is still just as small as it always has been!

And you wonder why I will be forced to get drunk tonight………………