Devastation

I am so overwhelmed with the mass destruction and devastation caused by Hurricane Katrina. When I posted about the different meanings of my name earlier this month I had no idea that my name would ever be associated with such a tragedy. At first friends and family were joking with me about it and leaving newspaper articles on my desk and emailing me updates on the storm. It was amusing at first but now it is horrifying. I can’t even begin to put into words the emotions I am feeling about this. I finally reached a point this morning where I had to turn off the TV and the radio; I couldn’t take the heart break anymore. My heart and prayers go out to all of the people affected by this natural disaster. I have a friend who lives in Pascagoula, Miss. that I can’t get a hold of and am praying he and his family are alright. I also have a close friend whose family decided to stay in their home in New Orleans, they survived and so did their house amazingly. But now they are stuck there with limited food and water and the threat of looters looming. When you try to think about what you would do in this situation your mind goes crazy, I can’t even begin to imagine what I would do and how I would feel. It is like a horror movie coming true, dead bodies floating around, looters fighting for food just to survive, the threat of mass panic and riots, police being shot while trying to protect and keep the peace, it’s like Dawn of the Dead. Not to mention the millions of people who have nothing left. Even if they did manage to evacuate and get out of harms way what do they do now? They have no home to go back to yet how long can you afford to stay in a hotel and feed your family with no job to go to? It is so mind boggling to me. Here in Jacksonville, FL they are beginning to set up shelters for people to evacuate to. Several of our local fire departments and rescue teams left yesterday to help in whatever way they can. I wish there was something we could do other than just sending monetary donations but there really isn’t right now. Even if you could volunteer to help you can’t get into the cities or even close to them at this point. I’m sure a lot of you have similar feelings about this and are feeling just as helpless as I am. I guess all we can do for now is pray and contribute what we can financially. Drew, if you are out there I love you and hope you and your family are safe. Jeff, I am so sorry for you and your family and if there is anything I can do please let me know. To everyone else that has been affected by this you are in my thoughts and prayers, God bless.

Two Fags & a Hag

This is the name of the reality home renovation show my roommates and I are going to start. If only we had video documentation of our renovation/demolition thus far, I definitely think Bravo would pick us up. For those of you that have forgotten or are new to this bizarre blog of mine, I live with my gay friend and his fiancé. The comedy began Sunday when we took possession of the house our first project was to disconnect the dishwasher so that the previous owner could pick it up; she bought it back from us for $125.00. So since I know nothing about appliances, in general ;), I was in charge of holding the dishwasher propped on its side while the boys figured out what we had to do and disconnect underneath. The first incident was that apparently you don’t just turn off the water to the kitchen; you have to turn off the water main to the house, oops! So water came shooting out into the kitchen, don’t worry I didn’t let go of the dishwasher, I held my post. Once we remedied that little faux pas it was time to cut the electric wires (or something, I have no idea). We were joking that at least the boys took out life insurance on Shane the week before and that if he died by electrocution it would pay double. Ha, Ha, POP - sparks! Damn it, apparently we needed to cut the power to the entire house, not just the kitchen. Shane is alive, but no longer has hair on his fingers or wrists. I am fine as well, just got a little jolt but not enough to drop the dishwasher – I am one hell of an assistant!

It’s strange because we now own a house and I don’t feel like we’re old enough to - we have no fucking clue what we are doing half the time. Upon discussing this matter over brunch we came up with our home show name, Two Fags & a Hag. I will keep you updated on upcoming episodes/disasters as they come about. Stay tuned!

In Wallpaper Hell

As I forwarned in a previous post - I am swamped with trying to prepare my new house to move at the end of this week. First of all, who the fuck uses wallpaper anymore? And if you are quilty of this - Fuck You! Our new house is like a Fun House - everytime we rip off a layer of outdated wallpaper we are horrified to find yet another layer under it, it is maddening. And to give you an update, I am going to the "Commitment Ceremony" in Denver this weekend! So I will be eating, sleeping and breathing this new house until I leave on Thursday night. Soooo since I am exhausted and currently on a very enjoyable pain pill I decided to post this little lesson that pretty much summarizes my last few months posts. Sorry for the lack of creativity but it's all I've got today.

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.
You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend.
You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast,
and you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Katrina is a noblewoman by birth and owns the Powerful Masquerade Sword

So I decided to take part in this trend of googlism.com and finding out what your name means. This is great! There are too many meanings to share all of them but these were the best ones:

• Katrina is the bitch round ere - damn right, bring it bitches!
• Katrina is tropical storm 15 - I’m waiting for the headlines now!
• Katrina is wife material - so what’s the fucking hold up then?
• Katrina is officially retired - damn I wish, why the hell am I still coming to work then
• Katrina is committed to ensuring all New Hampshire’s families have life - aren’t we all, I mean really.
• Katrina is a daughter of a very different place - that’s just great!
• Katrina is a resident of the Albany Landfill - FUCK.
• Katrina is so furious - maybe that’s why I’m a “bitch round ere”
• Katrina is also certified as a master - you better recognize fool!
• Katrina is a meld of the traditional Romanian vampire - awesome!
• Katrina is nothing short of spectacular - duh.
• Katrina is a petite redhead with a spirit as fiery as her hair - thank God I’m not, I’m scared of fire crotch.
• Katrina is fortunate to have a friend who believes in her statements about the case and who also believes in Katrina herself - awh kitkat, even Google knows who you are!
• Katrina is a ruthless and deadly killer when she wants to be - who knows, we’ll see I guess, I do idolize the Black Mamba.
• Katrina is working on her wood piece to be perfect - don’t we all like “wood” to be perfect? ;)
• Katrina is worried for her mother - Yes and I hope you read this mom! My mom refuses to even try to quit smoking. I am obviously not having kids in the near future and want my mom to be an active part of their lives so knock that shit off mom or you won’t be around long enough to even meet them!
  
  And the Grand Finale and my favorite is:
  
  Katrina is a lovely prostitute that Jack Crow and his gang utilize for recreation in a motel after a successful raid on vampires - Sweet!

Fortune Cookies Rule

"A merry heart does good like a medicine."

Madness

Today has been chaotic to say the least. First of all, apparently people (NIGHT TIME/WEEKEND MANAGMENT) don't feel it is important to come into work when they are scheduled to! No big deal really, I mean the people who have already been there since 7:00 or 8:00 a.m. can stay late so you can just chill at your house until you feel like coming in, Asshole. Secondly, why don't I ever get the "Casual Friday" memo, I mean I love wearing slacks and heals everyday guys, why would I want to wear shorts and tennis shoes? Thirdly, my gay cousin is having his "Wedding" on August 20th in Denver. I really wanted to go and love my cousin and his boyfriend dearly but I am flat broke. All of my friends seem to be getting married this year and I am in each of the weddings. So not only do I have to fly to Denver and take time off work but then they pick the most expensive bride's maid's dresses known to man. It is going to cost me almost $900.00 to celebrate my college roommate's wedding. I am happy for you sweety but God damn I could go on a cruise or to Europe for that! So now that I already have 3 trips to Denver this year (I usually only go home once a year) my extended family is laying the guilt trip on me to make it to his commitment ceremony or forever damage our relationship. Fuck! As if the financial issue isn't enough, I am supposed to be moving that weekend. Yes, I know that a wedding is far more important than moving but lets remember that I am a single female who drives a little convertible Cabrio - how the hell am I going to move myself. My roommate has told me that if I'm not here on the weekend of the "big" move that I'll have to find someone else with a truck to help me the week before and I can leave my stuff in the garage until I get back from Denver! Fine 679 trips later I'm sure I'll be moved in and comfortable. All of this chaos led me to eat 2 candy bars today, which in turn has also made me feel horribly guilty and fat! So the bottom line is that I am setting up a Save Queenie's Sanity Fund. Feel free to make monetary contributions or donations in the form of Bud Light or gin.

Stolen Post

I love these silly things. I stole this one from Undies.

Things I have done in my lifetime, as of today:

(x) Smoked a joint (sorry mom and dad but I’m not a pot head like your son)
() Been in a wet t-shirt contest
(x) Crashed a car (uh, almost every car I’ve owned)
(x) Stolen a car (my dad’s when I was 15, just drove around the neighborhood with my best friend, got caught)
(x) Been in love
(?) Had a threesome (I’ll never tell)
(x) Been dumped
(x) Shoplifted (pens from Target and my mom made us return them and apologize)
(x) Been fired (and sued the company and the manager who dared)
(x) Been in a fist fight (I lived with some real bitches and I was forced to hit 2 guys)
(x) Snuck out of the house (snuck beer out of the house, I just walked out)
(x) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
() Been arrested (I usually just date the delinquents)
(x) Made out with a stranger (why not?)
(x) Gone on a blind date (numerous)
(x) Lied to a friend (haven’t we all, come on)
() Had a crush on a teacher
(x) Been to Europe
(x) Skipped school (I was a peer counselor and used to write my own passes out of class)
(x) Seen someone die
(x) Been to Canada
(x) Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane (no, I walked to Europe)
() Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Thrown up in a bar (in the bar's bathroom - I am a drinker)
() Purposely set a part of yourself on fire (WTF)
(x) Eaten Sushi (love it)
(x) Been skiing (duh, grew up in Colorado)
(x) Met someone from the internet in person (shhh!)
(x) Been moshing at a concert (not by choice, it was scary)
(x) Been in an abusive relationship (mentally, with the addict)
(x) Taken painkillers (remember all the car crashes)
(x) Love someone or miss someone right now (every day)
(x) Lay and watch cloud shapes go by
(x) Made a snow angel
(x) Had a tea party (didn’t every girl with her dolls)
(x) Flown a kite
(x) Built a sand castle
(x) Gone puddle jumping
(x) Played dress up (and still do, anything for a good laugh)
(x) Jumped into a pile of leaves (until I realized that dogs pee in piles of leaves)
(x) Gone sledding
(x) Cheated while playing a game (I’m a great cheat – at games that is!)
(x) Been lonely (who hasn’t?)
(x) Fallen asleep at work/school (driving - last years car crash, the palm tree won)
(x) Used a fake ID (had 6, the bouncers asked who I was going to be each night)
(x) Watched the sunset
() Felt an earthquake (thank God)
(x) Touched a snake (I assume that's the reptile variety)
(x) Slept beneath the stars (one of my favorite things to do)
(x) Been tickled
(x) Been robbed (money taken out of my purse, thanks junkie ex)
(x) Been misunderstood (all the time)
(x) Pet a reindeer/goat (goat, they can be mean little bastards)
(x) Won a contest/race (essay contest, go to place the wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in 8th grade)
(x) Run a red light (does it sound like I’m a good driver?)
() Been suspended from school (I left that up to my little brother)
(x) Been in a car accident (4: 2 were my fault, 2 weren’t)
() Had braces (no but thought they were cool and was jealous of my friends who had them in 6th grade)
() Felt like an outcast
() Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night (been tempted)
(x) Had deja vu
(x) Danced in the moonlight
(x) Hated the way you look (I am a girl)
(x) Witnessed a crime
() Pole danced (does dancing to Guns N’ Roses with a broom count?)
(x) Been obsessed with post-it notes (they’re so fun)
(x) Walked barefoot through the mud
(x) Been lost (perpetually)
(x) Been to the opposite side of the world
(x) Swam in the ocean (huge accomplishment since I'm deathly afraid of sharks)
(x) Felt like dying (thought I was dying)
(x) Cried yourself to sleep (many nights)
() Played cops and robbers
(x) Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers (I love my gel pens)
(x) Sung karaoke (only when drunk)
(x) Paid for a meal with only coins (my Taco Bell loves me)
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't (daily – damn it I love carbs)
(x) Made prank phone calls when you were younger (my best friends and I were pros – we always got the popular kids to dish the dirty)
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (family routine is to make me laugh at Thanksgiving until milk comes out, mean!)
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
() Danced naked in the rain (I only do 2 things while naked)
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus (until I realized it was our neighbor dressed up)
() Been kissed under the mistletoe (how sad, I’ll have to work on that this year)
(x) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Had a bonfire on the beach (not while living in Florida though, I'll work on that too)
(x) Crashed a party (hello!)
(x) Gone rollerblading
(x) Had a wish come true
(x) Worn pearls (duh, I was in a sorority)
() Jumped off a bridge
() Screamed the word penis in public (um no, I don’t even say that word)
(x) Ate dog/cat food
() Told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) Kissed a mirror
(x) Sang in the shower (only while singing along to the radio)
(x) Owned a little black dress (essential)
() Had a dream that you married someone else (I have never even married one person)
(x) Glued your hand to something (my fingers together)
(x) Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole (school bus window)
() Kissed a fish (yuck)
(x) Worn the opposite sex's clothes (boys t-shirts & boxers are the best)
() Been a cheerleader (would have liked to but hated those bitches)
(x) Sat on a roof top (isn't that where I was when you needed me Jen?)
(x) Screamed at the top of your lungs (sometimes I get very mad!)
(x) Done a one-handed cartwheel (and an Arial, I was a gymnast)
() Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) Stayed up all night
() Didn't take a shower for a week (sorry, not possible)
() Picked and ate an apple right off the tree (scared of worms)
(x) Climbed a tree (then jumped out of it onto a trampoline and flew off - still have back problems)
(x) Had a tree house (a huge one in Zimbabwe)
(x) Are NOT scared to watch scary movies (love them, I scare easy)
(x) Believe in ghosts (did you read my last post?)
(x) Have more than 30 pairs of shoes (it’s an addiction, not my fault)
() Worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
() Gone streaking (again, only do 2 things in the nude)
(x) Played chicken
(x) Been skinny dipping (okay make that 3 things I do naked)
(x) Been pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on
(x) Been told you're beautiful by a complete stranger
(x) Broken a bone (fingers)
(x) Been easily amused (very easily)
(x) Caught a fish then ate it (after my uncle cleaned it, it was traumatizing)
() Caught a butterfly (on my back ;))
(x) Laughed so hard you cried
(x) Cried so hard you laughed (what else are you going to do when you're that upset?)
(x) Mooned/flashed someone (the Stained tour bus, on my way to Utah to see them and Korn)
(x) Had someone moon/flash you
(x) Cheated on a test (I cheated on every spelling test in 3rd grade, and felt so bad about it I told on myself to my dad)
(x) Forgotten someone's name (all the time)
(x) Slept naked (damn it, make that 4 things)
(x) French braided someone's hair
() Grown a beard (God I hope not)

Comments, questions, concerns?????

The Paranormal

I was reading Big Heavy’s blog the other day and he was writing about the paranormal. This got me thinking about my own experiences with the paranormal. Something that not many people know about me is that I have always had a slight sense of ESP. Ever since I can remember I have had dreams that “predict” future events. These dreams usually involve someone that I am close to or love getting hurt, injured, or potentially dying. I know it sounds bizarre but believe me, it is not something I would lie about nor something I ever wanted.

When I was 9 years old we went to Zimbabwe (my dad grew up there) to visit family and be there for my Grandma Joan's surgery. Sadly she passed away in the last few moments of the procedure. After we had her funeral I began to have a very unique experience. Each time I would go up the stairs to my bedroom at my uncle’s house my grandmother would meet me on the second landing and walk up the final flight of stairs with me, then her image would just disappear. At 9 years old you can imagine I was horrified. I knew my grandma would never hurt me and just wanted to be with me but I was still scared to death. I would cry every night when my parents would tell me to go up to bed, I only saw her when I was alone. But I never told my parents what was going on until several years later. In hindsight I wish I could see her again to talk to her and get to know her, apparently I am a great deal like her.

Shortly after my experience in Zimbabwe I began having dreams. These were not like normal dreams, they were very detailed and felt very real. I would awake sick to my stomach and barely able to get out of bed for the entire day.

Incident #1:
The first big premonition came when I was in 6th grade. My mom is a photographer and was set to go to Australia with my grandfather for a photo shoot for some magazine. Well a couple nights before she was scheduled to go I had a dream that she and my grandfather were going to die on their flight, that something was going to happen to their plane. When I awoke I ran downstairs crying and told her she couldn’t go. She tried to calm me down telling me that I had just had a bad dream and there was nothing to worry about, that we had traveled all over the world. But nothing she could do could ease the dread I was feeling. Something ended up happening with their Visas or something and they postponed their flight. Do you guys remember hearing about the flight where the roof of the plane pealed back and sucked half of the business class section out including 2 stewardesses? They even made a TV movie about it. Well that was the flight and the seats my mom and grandpa were scheduled to be on!

Incident #2:
One evening in when I was in middle school my dad was in my room and we were just hanging out talking about my Grandma Joan, the one from Zimbabwe. All of a sudden one of my music boxes on my shelf wound up and started playing. I was paralyzed with fear and my dad told me a phrase I have since heard many times, “the dead will never hurt you, only the living.” I think Grandma Joan was letting us know she was there.


Incident #3:
One morning in high school my dad came into my room to make sure I was awake for school and I told him that I was sorry his Uncle Willie had died. Uncle Willie lived in Scotland. My dad said, “Honey, Uncle Willie didn’t die.” I told my dad that he had and I was really sorry because I knew how much he had cared for him. No more than 10 minutes later the phone rang, it was a call from Scotland, Uncle Willie had passed away.

Incident #4:
In college I was dating a guy and had a dream that he was going to be hurt. In my dream I was trying to pull him into a tent, which represented safety. His back was to my chest and he was too heavy to get all the way in before some sort of explosion went off and his legs got hurt. I called him that morning and warned him that he was going to be in a car accident and to pay extra attention and wear this seat belt at all times. A few days later he was rear ended and nearly pushed into oncoming traffic on the highway. Instead of being thrown forward he was strangely thrust backward into the back seat. He drove a Jeep Wrangler, they have those bucket type seats that don’t recline, well the seat snapped and his head ended up in the back seat. Same motion as my dream!

Incident #5:
I had a detailed dream about another guy I had just started dating in college. I dreamt that he was welding something and there was a lot of sparks and then an accident where something flew up and burned his face. The strange thing was we had just started dating and I didn’t know what exactly he did, only that he worked for an aggregate company. I had never seen his uniform or his job site either. I couldn’t even remember the name of the company he worked for to call him and warn him. I was sick all day. When he came over that evening I told him about my dream in detail and he turned ghostly pale. What I had dreamed about, down to the type of uniform and gear he was wearing, had happened. He had been welding something and a hot shard had managed to fly up under his safety face guard and burned his eyelid.

Incident #6:
My friend George, passed away last year from cancer. Several months after his death he came to me in a dream, it was by far the most troubling dream I’ve had yet. He was trying to talk to me, just as he had in the few days before his death. He was so sick that last week and was struggling to even keep his eyes open let alone communicate with us. In this dream it was like he was trapped between worlds and didn’t know what to do. I woke up crying, I miss him every day. Since that dream there have been a couple of occations when I felt a prescence in my room and my cats have stared in that same direction. I believe it was George and am no longer as afraid as I used to be.

Incident #7:
This is the most recent occurrence. A month ago I was lying in bed sleeping, it was 3:00 a.m. and I woke up to my bed shaking. I thought my roommate had come home drunk and wanted to tell me something because it felt like someone was shaking the bed from the foot of it. And when I say it was shaking I mean it was a rockin! It only lasted about 30 seconds but it was scary, the cats even hissed and jumped off the bed. At first I thought it may have been George so I calmly told him I loved him but that was scaring me.

Incident #8:
About 45 minutes after incident #7 I managed to fall back to sleep when I once again woke up to a weird phenomenon in my room. There was a huge gust of wind that came through my room. Now I know the AC wasn't on because the unit is right outside of my bedroom window and is very loud. I half way sat up in bed and my hair was blowing back and the blinds were blowing around, it was crazy. Then I was pushed back down like someone was pressing on my chest with a lot of pressure. This incident lasted for about 2 minutes and I couldn't move. I then knew it wasn't my friend George, the feeling of pressure on my chest is an aggressive gesture and generally isn't viewed as being friendly. So who know's who my late night visitor was!

Well now that I have everyone thinking I am a freak I’ll end my post by saying, this is something that I never wanted and have always been scared of. But apparently runs in my family through my dad’s side and my Grandma Joan who came to visit me all those years ago.