The Progressive Insurance Truck

So, there I was, 8:30 a.m. at the Caruso Car Dealership ready to pick up the Durango after a month of repair work. Today was going to be a good day, I was supposed to get my truck back from the accident I was in a month ago. So I pranced in there with my $3,500.00 check from my insurance company ready to turn the rent-a-car in and what happens???? DENIED. Apparently, Katie, my friendly Progressive rep (the guy who hit me has Progressive insurance) just forgot to mail my deductible to my insurance company when she said she did a month ago. Oops, that's $250.00 the dealership needs on the spot to release my car! Can you say, "Oh Hell No!" For those of you who don't know me very well - I don't take kindly to poor customer service and these types of little goof ups. After apologizing to the dealership and informing them it would be handled within 24 hours I set out on my mission. Sitting in front of the dealership on my cell, mind you I don't have any daytime minutes, cause for even more irritation, I call Progressive. Oh, how surprising, Katie is on vacation until April 6th, how nice for her. So a poor unfortunate guy now has to deal with me. He is a smart one however and has Katie's boss call me back immediately. Poor, poor little Katie, she may not want to come back from vacation!

So, Katie's boss Amy calls me, "How are you doing today Miss Welch?" Are you freaking kidding me????? "Well not to good, actually I'm pretty frustrated right now." Amy apologizes and informs me she has the check and Katie must have forgotten to mail it out. So she said she could drop it in the mail to me today. Once again, "Oh Hell No!" I proceeded to tell Amy that when the accident happened the happy little Progressive truck was right there within minutes to make sure their asses were covered and therefore I expect the same response in this matter. However, the trucks had already been dispatched for the day so that wasn't possible. So, bottom line, Amy will be personally delivering the check to my house before 3:00 today! Thanks Amy for your understanding and commitment to my personal customer satisfaction - I am still going to sue your ass off!

Lunch Time Recreation

So there we were, in the middle of the forest, lost. What started out as our first day of walking during our lunch hour turned into a voyage to another land. Who knew that you could get lost in the middle of the UNF campus? Katie and I set out to burn some calories instead of gain them during our lunch hour. We knew that the campus had a nature trail system that a lot of people use to jog and walk on so we thought we would give it a try instead of walking around the main campus circle. So, off we go, following the yellow arrows with our trusty pedometer and Walmart special jogging watch. We were pumped to actually be walking through the woods, as we are both originally adventurous girls from mountainous states. Our plan was to walk for 45 minutes, leaving us 15 minutes to change back into our work gear. However, the yellow path seemed to take a lot of little zigs and zags and before we knew it we were in the thick of the woodland. Well, as we all know there is not much "untouched" land in cities anymore so we figured we would pop out somewhere on campus and head back toward the University Center sooner than later - wrong. We stumbled upon a huge lake and still no sign of civilization other than the distant roar of JTB and St. Johns Bluff, but who were we to judge which was which. Then out of nowhere comes an old man, jogging along, the same old man who had lapped us at the beginning of the trail. We flagged him down and asked for directions back to our place of employment: "You're going to follow this trail down and turn right then you'll see another smaller trail on the right, don't turn there - cross the small foot bridge (or 2 but whatever) then you'll come to a fork in the road and you'll have to decide if you're going to go left or right back to where you started, got it?" Sure we've got it, and off we go. The "fork" in the road actually is where the path dead ends into the mysterious lake we found 45 minutes earlier. And if we knew which way to go to get back to where we started we wouldn't have asked! So Katie, Eagle Scout that she is, began to judge our direction by the position of the sun! (For those of you that know us, using the sun as our compass is absolutely hilarious). So after about another 20 minutes of walking we do plop out onto campus and began our walk back to work. As we are walking trying to figure out the error of our way we notice that not only are we burning up (it is 80 degrees today) but we have numerous bug bites and our fingers have swollen up to the size of Jimmy Dean sausage links. Great, now we are not only way over our alloted 1 hour lunch break but we are beat read, sweaty and have sausage links instead of fingers! So the lesson for today is: stick to the gym! It has AC, you can't possibly get lost, there are showers and it cuts down on the bug bites!

Crisis #3,521-b

So there I was, sitting at my desk at work examining my split ends because, why wouldn't I be? And all of a sudden I was taken back in time to 8th grade at Eaglecrest High School in Aurora, Colorado. My best friend Jen and I were walking up the stairs behind one of the most popular girls in school, Sheila Otto. When upon closer examination we noticed that her Jennifer Anniston classic Friends haircut was littered with white dots. No, not dandruff or lice but SPLIT ENDS, millions of them. So this brings me to my question: Sheila, why did you not cut your hair throughout high school? Answer the question. Upon this horrifying trip down memory lane today I realized - my split ends have split ends! Seeing that this is completely unacceptable I placed an emergency phone call to my beloved hair dresser and friend Rhonda, who could tell by the tone in my voice the magnitude of the situation and slipped me into the chair 2 hours later! A special thanks goes out to Rhonda, thank you for saving my friends as well as strangers from a visual such as the one of Sheila, that plagues me till this day.

The Keg Party

So, there I was at a keg party last weekend, hard to believe I know. Well I'm sitting there with my two friends at a party in which we know no one and I look across the fire to observe a very peculiar site. Let's start by saying that there was a girl who decided to put her hair up with chopsticks, potentially cute yes but not when they are sticking up 4 inches from the top of your head like a rabbit ears antenna! So we of course named her Chopsticks. Poor little Chopsticks she was trying so hard to be cool and get involved in the general conversation but just seemed to "stick" out like a sore thumb. So as I look back over to her she pulls a red floppy book out of her heinous handbag. Upon closer examination I realize that the book looks very similar to a bible. Oh yes my friends, the pages were trimmed in gold - it was a bible. Immediately I alerted my friends, sure that this was about to get interesting and entertaining. This girl busts open the Bible and starts making comments like, "sweet" and "yes!" Apparently the Book of James is very exciting. Of course someone finally asks the question we've all been wondering, "are you reading the Bible?" Chopsticks then informs the group that she is just referencing something she had read earlier that day, mind you this was in between her sipping her beer. She continued to read by fire light until she had lost everyone's attention and then she moved on to a group of guys who were standing in a circle talking. The next thing I know she is removing her chopsticks and shaking her long blond hair out like some porno star, there was a noticeable silence as everyone thought they were about to experience a strip tease, from bible reading, beer sipping, bimbo! All in all it was very interesting, I mean don't we all read the Bible at a keg party while drinking beer????

Crazy Woman

O.K. so here I am sitting here listening to a bizarre conversation my poor unfortunate coworker is trapped in. Why do people insist on repeating their maddening questions when you tell them that you cannot help them? So this lady is standing here asking us questions about a water aerobics class - there is no fucking pool here! We have attempted 4 times to redirect her to the Aquatics Center where the pool is located, but no she is now telling us about her water shoes in between complimenting my coworker on her hair numerous times - her hair is tightly pulled back in a bun!!! Jen, you do have beautiful hair but damn - it's in a bun! So this lady keeps talking and now has moved on to the hair dresser that Jen doesn't even go to. Which brings me to the discussion of hair! Straight or curly ladies, there should never be an in between! In between hair is what went wrong in the 80's. Perms are also NOT O.K. Let it go girls, there is no need to keep fighting the friz just straighten it or "Pump n' Curl" your locks! I'm sorry, I am no style expert but I have seen a magazine or two in the last 10 years, T.V., movies, or hello - going out in public so what are these women's excuses? Maybe they don't have a mirror at home, who knows but honestly it does bother me and it should bother you too!

Quote for the Day

"Beingness attracts Beingness"
I got this quote at an acupuncture session when I was told to select a card out of a stack and this would be tell me what I needed to work on in my life. I think it is so true and try to remind myself of it daily. You do take on the aura of people you choose to surround yourself with. With that said, I am makings some "cuts" in my life - cutting out the negative people, their problems and the drama that comes with them.......So if I stop talking to you, you'll know you didn't make the cut and maybe you should reevaluate your life, you fucking losers!

The beginning

So there I was, reading my friend Katie's blog and I thought to myself, I can do this! I probably have more random thoughts and comments than anyone I know so why not let everyone know what they are instead of just the lucky few - Katie, Laine and Jen. I guess I'll start off by saying that the majority of people these days annoy me! Have people completely forgotten their manners or did they never develop any? Let's start with something simple, making plans. O.K. so it's the weekend and everyone is relaxing and just playing it by ear but then it comes time to get ready to go out so you call your friends and try to set something up, doesn't seem too difficult right? Wrong, this forces people to commit to a time and location, God forbid you tell someone you'll meet them, I mean what if something better comes along and you want to do that instead????? So instead this is what happens, "well, why don't you call me when you're getting ready to leave and we'll see what's going on." What the crap - NO, I need to know what time I have to be somewhere so that I can get ready accordingly. Not only that but I need to have a destination so that I know what to wear and what supplies I may need for the evening. How many times have you gone out intending to do something or go somewhere and plans change and there you are not ready for the situation??? This stresses me out! And what is so wrong with making plans? If something better comes along then talk to the person you made plans with and work it out, invite them, etc., just don't bail on them because you can't stick to the plan. I'm sick of everyone always waiting for something better to come along - You're missing out, life is passing you by while you wait!